It sounds simple, right? But sometimes having the “sex-toy talk” with your significant other (or friends with benefits) can seem a little daunting. We get it. It’s not always easy to talk about your sexual wants and desires, even if you are super comfortable with your partner. If you think you’re ready to add some good vibrations to your next sexcapade, but aren’t exactly sure how to make it happen, keep reading!

Sex is Like Ice Cream
Here’s the deal: you love chocolate chip ice cream (who doesn’t?), but sometimes you want to make it a hot fudge sundae with extra whipped cream (and maybe even a cherry?!). You still crave that classic, irreplaceable bowl of chocolate chip, but you also know that it can be fun to switch things up and add some extra toppings. That’s what having a sex toy in the bedroom is like. It’s important to remind your partner that introducing a toy isn’t about replacing them, and it’s not because you don’t already have amazing sex with them, it’s just a way to enhance the experience!

Size Does Matter
If you and your partner are new to bedroom accessories, it might be a good idea to stick with a less intimidating option like a small clitoral vibrator or C-ring. Not only does it help keep the penis harder for a longer amount of time, it is also the most popular sex toy in the world! So how does it work? The ring prevents blood from flowing back down the penis, which makes erections last longer and harder. Adding the vibration- provides added stimulation for both. You can make finding your new toy fun by exploring and shopping together, or by asking each other what features and functions you’re most interested in trying. You might even learn something new about them!

The Feeling is Mutual
One of the best things about incorporating a toy into your romp routine is that it feels amazing for *literally* everyone. We’re talking various vibrations, sexy sensations and titillating textures you’ve never felt before! When starting the conversion with your partner, focus on the fact that this experience will be pleasurable and enjoyable for the both of you.

Let’s Talk About Stats, Baby!
A study in The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy finds that 36% of women need clitoral stimulation during intercourse to reach orgasm, whereas 90% of men are pretty much able to orgasm every single time they get it on. By using a toy, you and your partner can take control of your orgasms and share that experience together, more frequently.

So, you finally did it! You talked to your partner about using a sex toy together! Whether they were into the idea or not, the most important thing is that you started an open, honest dialogue with them. Sex Therapist Dr. Madeleine Castellanos says that “communication is an ongoing dynamic in a relationship. Without communication and understanding of each other’s wants, you won’t be able to take advantage of the growth that happens throughout your relationship.” By having this conversation now, you’re opening the door for future conversations and new experiences down the road.